Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
