Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
