Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
