Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
