somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
that's an acceptable place to lick
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
