I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
