I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
