she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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