Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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