We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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