i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
