Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
