I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm passing your future prison.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
