what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
