their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
