you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
