My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
