And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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