So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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