I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
