Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
