I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think your dad took our porno
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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