It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
