fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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