So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
