You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
