Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
time to smoke my breakfast
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize