The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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