I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
