in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
