it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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