I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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