if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
