Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
