You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
