new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
