the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
