we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Randomize
