It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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