I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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