I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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