in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
