This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
