Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
