what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
50% drunk capacity currently
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
