what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
