Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
