and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize