Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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