Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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