So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
