Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
