Duck Duck Cougar?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
