Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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