I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
