I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
