I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
